Ashes to Ashes

The kinetic novel started out pretty well, clearly explaining the plot without overusing inner monologue and the cast was introduced in a very organic way which was promising. 

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT

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However, I think that the murder plot really came out of left field - there was almost no build up to it, and the way the killer was introduced did not create a sense of dread but felt almost ridiculous. And I think just writing a bayonet instead of its full description (including its century of manufacturing) wouldn't have pulled the reader out of the story.

I would also note that while the music was overall pleasant, there were points where it didn't fit the story and maybe a different track (or silence, when used well it can create amazing tension) would have suited it better.

Overall, I think if given more time to edit and polish the story, it could have been a very fun little kinetic novel, maybe if it was much more serious and holding the tone well right until the ending could have taken the story much further and make it more memorable.

sry but i kinda agree with the twitch chat

Holy Scott...